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Ep. 55 – Blaire, Age 12: Say no without feeling bad

How saying no can save a friendship

Ep. 55 – Blaire, Age 12: Say no without feeling bad

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 55 – Blaire, Age 12: Say no without feeling bad
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Think About it Questions
  • Think of a time you had to say no to a friend. What happened? How hard or easy was it for you to say no? How did your friend react?
  • Why is it important to say no to friends sometimes? How can saying no help a friendship? How can NOT saying no sometimes hurt a friendship?
  • Why do you think kids are sometimes nervous or uncomfortable about saying no to a friend?
  • What could you say if a friend is disappointed or annoyed when you say no?
  • When is it okay to say yes to a friend, even if it’s not exactly what you want?

Ep. 54 – Dimitri, Age 12: How to help a friend dealing with hard times

Showing up for friends the way they want

Ep. 54 – Dimitri, Age 12: How to help a friend dealing with hard times

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 54 – Dimitri, Age 12: How to help a friend dealing with hard times
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Think About it Questions
  • Think of a hard time you’ve been through. What kind of support from friends did you find helpful (or not helpful) during that time?
  • How could giving advice hurt a friendship?
  • What does Dr. Friendtastic mean when she says that your friend knows best what kind of support they need?
  • Why might listening be a good way to support a friend who is going through a hard time?
  • What could you do to support a friend who doesn’t feel like talking about their problems?

Ep. 53 – Lillian, Age 11: How to stay calm when someone is bragging

Knowing the difference between bragging and sharing good news

Ep. 53 – Lillian, Age 11: How to stay calm when someone is bragging

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 53 – Lillian, Age 11: How to stay calm when someone is bragging
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Think About it Questions
  • Why is bragging NOT a good way to make friends? (Hint: How does it make other people feel?) What are some better ways to make friends?
  • What does Dr. Friendtastic mean when she says, “Most of the time, when people are bragging, there is no contest”? Why might keeping that in mind be helpful for staying calm when someone is bragging?
  • Have you ever felt envious of something good that happened to a friend? What was the thing that made you feel envious? How did you handle it? How did it affect your friendship?
  • Has anyone ever told you, “Quit bragging!”? Do you think you were bragging? Why or why not? What did you do after that?

Ep. 52 – Tyler, Age 12: Friend‘s parents don’t like him

Winning over adults

Ep. 52 – Tyler, Age 12: Friend‘s parents don’t like him

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 52 – Tyler, Age 12: Friend‘s parents don’t like him
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Think About it Questions
  • Have you ever tried to change how someone (kid or adult) views you? What happened? Why do you think reputations can be hard to change? 
  • Why is it a good idea to try to get along well with your friends’ parents? 
  • What are some ways that kids can show they are being respectful toward adults?
  • Which of your friends do your grown-ups like the most? Why?
  • When you make a mistake, why do you think it’s important to think honestly about what you did wrong? (Hint: What does that enable you to do?)

Ep. 51 – Saoirse, Age 8: Mean comment said behind her back

Dealing with hearsay

Ep. 51 – Saoirse, Age 8: Mean comment said behind her back

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 51 – Saoirse, Age 8: Mean comment said behind her back
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Think About it Questions
  • Have you ever been in a situation where you found out that someone was saying something mean about you behind your back? What were they saying? How did you handle it?
  • Why does Dr. Friendtastic say it’s freeing to realize that what people say about you when you’re not around is none of your business? (Hint: What are some possible downsides of always trying to find out what people are saying about you when you’re not there?)
  • How does repeating someone’s mean comment to someone else spread meanness? 
  • What are some good ways that you’re “weird” (i.e., different from other kids you know)?

Ep. 50 – A Common Belief that Blocks Friendship

Beyond the Magnet Myth of Friendship

Ep. 50 – A Common Belief that Blocks Friendship

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 50 – A Common Belief that Blocks Friendship
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Think About it Questions
  • What is the Magnet Myth of Friendship? Why is the Magnet Myth NOT true?
  • How are friends different from fans?
  • Why does bragging not help you make friends? (Hint: How are other kids likely to react?)
  • How might worrying about not being “good enough” get in the way of making friends?
  • Dr. Friendtastic says to “focus on being interested rather than interesting.” What do you think that means? How could you show someone that you are interested in them?

Ep. 49 – Charlotte, Age 8: Feeling different and rejected

Bridging differences by building connections

Ep. 49 – Charlotte, Age 8: Feeling different and rejected

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 49 – Charlotte, Age 8: Feeling different and rejected
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Think About it Questions
  • We are all different. What are some ways that you are different from other kids around you? Do you feel proud, neutral, or ashamed about those differences? How do those differences affect your friendships?
  • What are some examples of visible differences (that people see immediately)? What are some examples of invisible differences (meaning the differences are real and important but other people don’t necessarily realize they’re there when they first meet someone)? 
  • Dr. Friendtastic says, “A shared activity can bridge differences and build connection.” What does this mean?
  • Why do you think some kids don’t want to be around kids who are different from them? How could this attitude hurt them?

Ep. 48 – Lily, Age 6: New friend claims to be best friend

Attraction versus closeness

Ep. 48 – Lily, Age 6: New friend claims to be best friend

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 48 – Lily, Age 6: New friend claims to be best friend
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Think About it Questions
  •  In your own words, how would you describe the difference between attraction and closeness?
  • Have you ever had someone try to influence you by saying, “I’ll be your best friend…” or “I won’t be your best friend…”? What did they want you to do? How did you respond?
 
  • Have you ever met someone and immediately thought, “We’re going to be good friends!” Did you end up becoming close friends? Why or why not?
 
  • How could saying something like “No thanks” or “I’m not comfortable doing that” deepen your friendship?

Ep. 47 – Brayden, Age 9: Why do we need friends?

Friends matter. Here’s why.

Ep. 47 – Brayden, Age 9: Why do we need friends?

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 47 – Brayden, Age 9: Why do we need friends?
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Think About it Questions
  • Why do you think having good friends makes it easier for kids to cope with stress? How has a friend been kind or helpful to you when you’ve had to deal with difficult situations?
  • How can too much conflict hurt a friendship?
  • Why do you think kids sometimes stick with a low-quality friendship (where there’s a lot of conflict and not much fun or closeness)?
  • What are some examples of things you’ve done to support or care for a friend?
  • Think of a time you had a friendship rough spot. How did you handle it?
  • Dr. Friendtastic says that learning to be a good friend “is a step toward peace and justice in the world.” Do you agree? Why or why not?

Ep. 46 – Anna, Age 9: Wishing for a Best Friend

Building closer friendships

Ep. 46 – Anna, Age 9: Wishing for a Best Friend

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic
Ep. 46 – Anna, Age 9: Wishing for a Best Friend
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Think About it Questions
  • Who do you consider your closest friends? How did you become close?
  • Has anyone ever said to you, “I’ll be your best friend if you..”? If so, how did that make you feel? Why is this NOT a good way to make close friends?
  • What do you think Dr. Friendtastic means when she says, “Friends are people, not possessions”? (Hint: She also talks about building a close friendship together, with time and effort.)
  • Why do you think Dr. Friendtastic likes the term “close friend” more than “best friend”?
  • Thinking about the kids you know now, who is someone you’d like to become closer friends with? How could you do that?

How to Submit YOUR Question About Friendship!

Kids, do you have a question you’d like Dr. Friendtastic to answer?

Ask your grown-up to use their smartphone's memo function or an audio app to record your question. Hold the phone close to your mouth to make sure the recording is clear. Say:

1) your first name (or a first name)

2) your age

3) a brief question or concern about friendship. (Please don’t mention any friends' names.)

Your grown-up can use this form or email the audio file to DrF@EileenKennedyMoore.com. Dr. Friendtastic will answer as many questions as possible. (If you have a very upsetting or emergency situation, please tell a trusted adult you know.)